Raising grateful children in this materialistic world is no easy feat. How many of us (mothers especially) spend most of our days doing “stuffs” for the household, and the children particularly? From waking up in the morning, feeding them, sending them to school with warm meals in their lunchboxes, doing their laundry , fetching them from school, going over their homeworks and many more. Your kids might offer their help in doing the chores (or you might assign chores onto them), they might give their thanks to you for the great day when you put them to bed.
But while basic “thank yous” are wonderful and appreciated, how do you identify a grateful child?

A child who is able to show appreciation and return the kindness, who have the quality of being thankful- for all the good things they have in life and be able to do that even when bad times came. And as Muslim, being grateful for all the good and the bad because he believes that everything is from Allah and Allah wants only the best for His servants.
This attitude need to be nurtured and sowed from young. It is certainly a never ending process. It is not something that you possess overnight. Parents play an important role in raising grateful Muslim children.

So how do you do it?

Here are 5 tips in raising grateful Muslim children.
1. Express gratitude to Allah and other people.

One main reason why we want to raise grateful children is because we want them to be thankful servants of Allah.

فَتَبَسَّمَ ضَاحِكاً مِّن قَوْلِهَا وَقَالَ رَبِّ أَوْزِعْنِي أَنْ أَشْكُرَ نِعْمَتَكَ الَّتِي أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيَّ وَعَلَى وَالِدَيَّ وَأَنْ أَعْمَلَ صَالِحاً تَرْضَاهُ وَأَدْخِلْنِي بِرَحْمَتِكَ فِي عِبَادِكَ الصَّالِحِينَ

(27:19) So [Solomon] smiled, amused at her speech, and said, “My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to do righteousness of which You approve. And admit me by Your mercy into [the ranks of] Your righteous servants.”

The first tip to achieve this is to teach them to always express gratitude to Allah. Teach them to praise Allah, to give thanks to Him for all the blessings given.

They must also be taught to show gratitude towards other people. Even if it is a small gesture from a younger sibling, teach them to always show their appreciation.

2. Parents be the role model

I can never stress more on this. Children learn best from modeling and through observing their surroundings and since parents are the first teachers for their children, children will ultimately follow the parents’ leads.

Model the grateful attitude by saying thanks to your partner for helping out around the house for example. Saying thank you for the garbage man who collects the garbage. Simple things like these go a long way. And when children see us doing this, they will subconsciously follow suit.

As Muslims, what better ways to find stories of the believers than going back to Quran and Sunnah.
Teach your children the verses from the Quran that talked about gratitude and its virtues. How Allah promised His servants that whoever gives thanks/ appreciate His blessings, then He will add more.

وَإِذْ تَأَذَّنَ رَبُّكُمْ لَئِن شَكَرْتُمْ لأَزِيدَنَّكُمْ وَلَئِن كَفَرْتُمْ إِنَّ عَذَابِي لَشَدِيدٌ

And remember! your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): “If ye are grateful, I will add more (favours) unto you; But if ye show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed.”

Read stories from the seerah of the Prophet PBUH and other messengers. How the beloved prophet still bowed down to Allah and prostrate to Him even though he is promised the highest rank of Heaven.

Al-Mughirah ibn Shu’bah reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, would pray until his feet were swollen. It was said to him, “Why do you do this when Allah has forgiven your past and future sins?” The Prophet said, “Shall I not be a grateful servant?”

Source:  Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1078, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2819

Parents too need to be specific in showing gratitude. They will feel much more appreciated when they know that you approve that specific action.

For example when i saw my eldest cleaning up after playing, I would say something like “MashaAllah I see you are picking up your legos from the floor. This way no one would hurt their feet. Rasulullah PBUH said “ Removing harmful thing in the path is an act of charity”.

Besides relating their daily actions with what Rasulullah PBUH said, the children will feel appreciated that this particular is praised upon and when they feel appreciated , it makes it easier to feel and express gratitude to others. (Trickle-down effect)

3. List down everything that they are grateful for.

In our household, before sleeping we try to make a habit of talking about how the day went. We will summarise the day by listing down our favourite things that happened that day and how grateful we are. Even if it is just a simple thing. For example today my daughter said that she is happy that my husband bought her an orange juice and she thanked him for that. This simple stuff that we might overlook is actually big for little kids and it makes them feel contented.


I know some people have “grateful jar” in their home where they write things that they are grateful for and they will read it together. I think that is a briliant idea too. Check out pinterest for more exciting ideas.

4. Expose our children with different cultures and status quo.

Recently we are doing a unit study on water and its importance in human’s lives. We talked about how certain countries do not have an easy access to clean water in their homes. And we discussed on how lucky we are to have an easily accessible clean drinking water right from our tap.

Seeing challenges that other people faced can instill a sense of gratitude in our children. And that can make them more proactive to help others in need.

5. Teach them accountability

My daughters have a daily one hour screen time after they have done their homeschooling session. We downloaded Zaqy and friends in our Ipad. One day Marya accidentally deleted all of the videos. I was mad at first because she is not supposed to touch the Ipad even. Marya asked her father to “put back”(her words) the videos back. But we told her that we can’t and that is the consequence of her touching the Ipad and not listening to us.

Our kids need to know that they are accountable of their actions. They can cry and feel upset . But actually not giving in to every of their requests can make them appreciate more of what they have. Of course you as a parent know what your child really needs. So if you think that your child can live without the things they demand, then be steadfast in teaching them that not everything they want is granted upon. Teach them to take care of their things and be grateful with whatever they have in their lives.

To sum it all up, the sense of gratitude starts from our own home. Life is too short to be “whiny”. Appreciate and be thankful with whatever Allah gives us and life will surely be more positive inshaAllah.