This is the second and last part of the series. You can view the first part here : https://raisingmuslimkidlets.wordpress.com/2020/05/26/raising-muslim-children-with-sound-creed-part-1/

3. Providing a positive environment with attached parenting

Have you had days when you feel like your child is plainly unresponsive, cranky or having a bad day? Recently my husband and I sat down and discussed about our children and we realised that our children’s mood for the day is majorly affected by how we-the parents- start the day. I noticed that if I were rushing around on that day trying to tick off the household chores or even feeling downright lazy and not giving enough attention to the children, the children would definitely act up, messing up their toys for example, not wanting to share etc. That is their way to grab our attention. It could be that they are still young and don’t know how to express their feelings but they definitely want us to turn and look at them. But as parents sometimes we tend to forget that children are young so when they started to misbehave, we begin scolding them or asking them things beyond their capacity. That would definitely not help shape the kids’ upbringing.

An important point from my husband, he shared that if the day begins with him praying fajr at the masjid, spending some time reading the Quran or simply reading the morning dhikr, he noticed that the whole house’s mood is lifted. Like the kids are manageable, I’m less cranky myself (oops!) and the day goes by easily with the help from Allah. Subhanallah!

A positive home environment personally for us is where we shower the kids with love, care and connect with them individually –especially when they are young- because when our child feels safe and loved, he will listen and cooperate with us better in terms of learning and behavior.

If we want to raise our children to be among the pious servants with strong aqeedah, obviously the first step starts at home. A home where the remembrance of Allah is echoed endlessly through actions and words. A home where the kids feel safe to learn from their role model. A home where kids are raised to be Muslims with strong positive characters.

Dr Dan Siegel, the author of “The whole brain child” book mentioned that the brain is like a house with both upstairs and downstairs. And a child can only live downstairs- filled with emotions. Downstairs is responsible for basic functions like breathing and blinking, for innate reactions like fight and flight and for strong emotions like anger and fear. Our upstairs brain is completely different. It is more evolved and can give you a fuller perspective on your world. It is filled with decision making, empathy, concentration etc. Because the “upstairs” is still under renovation, kids need their parent’s help. Our job is to teach them and help them build up the “upstairs brain”

How?

By being involved in their life. That is what an attached parenting means. A ‘present’ parent in the children’s lives who helps them by being loving, understanding, patient and empathetic figure and lead the children to the right path (siraatul mustaqeem).

4. Education

A very important aspect in raising the children with strong creed is through education. Every single parent in this world wants to provide only the best education for their children. But for muslims, we need to prioritise what type of knowledge we need to provide first.

Abu Ameena Alias said in his website:

“We ought to pursue spiritual knowledge, especially what every Muslim needs to know in order to practice the religion correctly, but we also need scientific knowledge that can benefit our community and humanity at large. Classical scholars, such as Al-Ghazali, designated the natural sciences, particularly medicine, to be a collective obligation (fard al-kifayya) upon the Muslim community”

Introduce the Quran and Sunnah to your children when they are still young. Read Quran to them, let them listen and memorise to your recitation. Tell them the stories of the prophets. Teach them about their Lord.

The love of learning should be cultivated as early as possible. Yes, it is important to learn how to read, how to decode the sounds of every letters, learn about mathematics and sciences.

But isn’t beautiful to hear your 4 year old recite the whole of juz Amma from the Quran and that he knows about his Lord and how to be a good servant?

An important point to note: It is the duty of the parents to provide materials and resources that follow the real manhaj-that is, ensuring its authenticity (from the Quran and Sunnah). Get your resources from our scholars. They have written a whole loads of authentic information.

I strongly believe that parents should learn and equip themselves with enough resources from the Salafs so we will be better prepared to simplify the information to our children according to their level of understanding

5. Remove from our house things that are associated with shirk and kufr

Raising kids with strong creed means removing all things that can influence their upbringing. For example no music or any from of negative entertainment that can caused them to have bad influence. Choosing story books are important too. Don’t let fairy tales books, witchcraft and all that sort to enter your house. It might be harmless but it certainly have an effect on your children’s aqeedah. Imagine you trying to teach about the greatness of Allah and how we need to seek help from Him solely, but at the same time, your kid is reading a book about a fairy with magic wand that can grant your wishes anytime??

So choose wisely what goes into your house.

6. Include Aqeedah in your daily learning journey

Secular education always stresses on hands-on practical daily activities for young kids. Kids learn better this way as they can see how it is integrated in their lives. So I believe that learning Aqeedah should be like that too. Engaging and fun.

For example if you go for nature walks with your children, collecting dried leaves so you can do some painting at home. Why not talk to your child too during those walks? Tell him Allah is Al-Musawwir. Teach him the beautiful names of Allah. Allah has given us this beautiful nature and it is our responsibility to preserve it. Always find the opportunity to apply Aqeedah teaching in our children’s daily learning.

Conclusion

Raising our kids in this era has their own challenges, what’s more to raise a child with strong aqeedah. Both the father and mother need to work hand in hand to achieve it. Educate ourselves first and foremost, pray sincerely to Allah, be strong spiritually and may Allah guide us in every footsteps we take to gain His redha (pleasure) and blessings.